FreeTruth

This week I attended the funeral service of a mom of one of my good friends, John. I could feel his grief. This Wednesday I sat with my dear friend Tim as he wept over the dramatic "turn for the worse" in his mother's life. On December 1, I'll mark the third anniversary of my mother's death; an event I cannot give more than a few seconds thought to without filling up with tears.

Three men, all in the 50-60 age range, each weeping with deep affection for his mom. Note that: all in the 50-60 range. These are not boys, not mere children mourning the loss of their tender, affectionate, providing, nurturing, safety assuring moms. These are men who are themselves growing old, who in their advancing years are feeling the profound loss of their mothers. They are in some measure feeling orphaned in their 50's.

I think there is a deep and affecting word here to all moms. Consider this reality: these three men have families of their own; each with good marriages, each with multiple children, a couple with grand-children, each with God-blessed work and ministry, each with dear and cherished friendships. But each mourns the loss of mom with a grief beyond words.

What does this suggest about motherhood? It says that this distinct and noble role is unique in its honor and impact and worth. I cannot prove this for sure, but I'd offer it as a pretty strong theory: of all the griefs of life, the loss of mom would be for most people one of the very greatest griefs there is. I know that many have had moms who were not great moms, and so they may not have grieved much when their moms died. But I would guess that if they did not grieve much when their moms died it was because they had already grieved the loss of their mom much while she was still alive, but living distant and disengaged from their lives. I would suggest that the loss of mom--either through death or through mom's neglect and cruel abuse while still alive--is a grief for which humans shed more tears than perhaps any other.

You see dear mothers: there is simply no one like you. No one. Yours is a calling that is unsurpassed in its impact and worth and dignity. Perhaps this is what Paul meant in 1 Timothy 2:15 when he says that a woman will be saved through child-raising. He obviously does not mean that they will be saved from their sins or justified in God's sight by having and raising kids. What he must mean is something more like: she will be saved from second-rate status or meaninglessness or any sense of inferioirty or some other form of prejudice or dishonor that is all to common in a fallen world--and delivered up into one of the highest callings imaginable. A woman gets to bear and nurture and raise and feed love, nourishment, affection and the never-dying influence of her soul into sons and daughters who will rise up to call her blessed, and weep unmatched tears when she is gone.

There is simply no one like mom. No one. This is not to say that us men have no dignity or that women who are unmarried or are childless (despite their best efforts otherwise) somehow are inferior. No, God has His ways of calling all of us to the bearing and raising of children of another sort--spiritual children whom we give birth to through witness, and nurture through care.

But this is to say, that in a certain way, there is no one like mom. No one.

You moms have a calling that is as sacred as any other, and even more beloved. Never buy into the world's insanity that defames motherhood or denigrates the bearing and raising of children. The high-powered female CEO who chooses career over children may make lots of money and wield lots of power, but she will have no one like Tim or John or me who will mourn her passing with the tears of a child.

The CEO may move companies, but mom moves hearts. Tell me which is of greater worth.

There is simply no one like mom. Not one.

Labels: Children, Motherhood, Womanhood

Few parental responsibilities carry more impact potential than their children’s education. The Bible is clear that parents in general, and fathers in particular, are to have the primary teaching role in their children’s lives. You don’t have to teach your kids math or science or physics, but you do have to instill in your children the over-all Christian theology that governs all these subjects (and theology does indeed govern all these subjects). Also you and I do have an inescapable responsibility to guard our sons and daughters from error-filled education that counters a Christian world-view.

The Law of God, recorded in Scripture, which is what we are to teach our kids, has something to say about all manner of topics. Proverbs also presents an astonishingly broad teaching curriculum for parents. This means that parents are called to lead the way in teaching their kids about a vast array of topics for all of life. Along the way they certainly may delegate some teaching roles to people they trust, but it remains the parents’ duty to guard their children vigilantly from the effects of less trustworthy teachers. Being aware of the radically anti-God philosophies (atheism, evolutionism, materialism, hedonism, feminism, egalitarianism, relativism, etc.) that saturate most public education contexts, parents who choose that option will have to commit to a consistent and thorough deprogramming of their children when they arrive home from school. This can be done, but the work is hard and long and arduous.

The education decision tilts on which of three options (home schooling, private schooling or public schooling) best meets the needs and fits the circumstances of each family. It should be obvious that the further one is removed from home schooling, the harder it becomes to fulfill at least the protecting and world-view instilling responsibilities I’ve mentioned, since an increasing amount of the teaching is delegated to others who may or may not share your Christian world view and values. Fathers, whatever option you choose, you remain responsible to oversee, review, monitor, influence, and have primary control over everything your children are taught. This is what family shepherds (parents in general and dads in particular) do for the sheep in their fold.

Friends, these are matters for which much counsel is needed. Do not make these decisions apart from the input of your wife and your pastors. Seek out the wisdom of those who have considered all the options carefully and have gone before you in the decisions you have to make. The stakes are high here; don’t gamble with your children’s future, or their souls.

Labels: Children, Education, Home Schooling, Parenting

I grew up with a rich Christian heritage, receiving from my parents the treasure of Christ. Realizing that not all have had this experience, I would not want in any way to minimize either the joys of my heritage or the sorrows of other’s lives. Childhood experiences profoundly affect (for good or ill) all of us for all of life.

My particular childhood opportunities have long led me to the sobering conviction that since, indeed, I have been given a richer heritage than some, I have a greater responsibility (Luke 12:48). Please know that God will require of each of us according to what He has entrusted to us; no more and no less. God is sovereign over our times and our dwellings (Acts 17:26), and He has a reason for each.

But along with this I want to offer you both hope and challenge.

My dad was a first generation Christian. He did not come to faith until he was 23. Raised in extreme material poverty (his was the poorest family in town), Dad also suffered abject spiritual poverty. Inheriting a “futile way of life from his forefathers”, he had no Christian heritage, no rich spiritual family tree, and no knowledge of the Bible, the gospel, or the ways of God until his wonderful conversion in a tiny Massachusetts country church.

Dad married Mom when he was 26 and she 23. Mom’s childhood had been shattered by a drunken father, the tragedy of divorce (when Mom was two), and the trauma of poverty (hers too, was the poorest family in her town). Remarkably, in the midst of such massive dysfunctionality, Mom came to faith in Christ at 14.

The divine union of these two was the seed of a new spiritual family tree. They had five children who have gone on with Christ, and a sixth who, though not a believer, was a loving and devoted son until their recent passing. Of their 36 grandchildren, dozens have embraced Jesus as their Savior. Among their children and grandchildren are pastors, teachers, counselors, wonderful moms and faithful dads, dedicated nurses, defenders of their country, and second and third generation Christian families.

Here’s how their spiritual heritage developed. Dad and Mom:
1. Never made excuses based on their past; they just got down to the business of Christian living and faithful parenting.
2. Took God at His word, believing His promises and obeying His commands for Christian parents.
3. Believed children were a gift from God and always cherished us as such.
4. Spent and were spent on their children.
5. Broke the cycle of futility inherited from their parents and started a new spiritual family tree that will still be bearing fruit one thousand generations from now.
6. Would tell you (were they here today) to live in parental hope, for the same God who helped them start a new heritage of faith has promised to help you, too.

If you are a parent or one who thinks one day you will be or one who is single but wants to invest in the coming generations, I encourage you to create a heritage for the glory of God!

Labels: Children, Parenting, Singles